$1.80, give or take a buck

The other morning, I heard it mentioned (again, not for the first time) that for each dollar given in unemployment benefits, there is an economic boost of $1.80, due to some enigmatic multiplier.  I've always figured that some numerical shenanigans similar to the Missing Dollar puzzle were involved in this claim, but I am not an economist. However I've purchased a burger or two, so I can at least talk about that.

(Let me say in advance that none of this is intended as an editorial of the merits of such government programs; any opinion of how much or in what manner the government should provide for those that don't provide for themselves is irrelevant.)

For the sake of argument, let's say that a dollar that Bill earns and would otherwise receive is instead given to Ted. The hypothesis says that when Ted spends that dollar at BurgerWorld, the economy sees growth of $1.80. Here's my question: Would this dollar also grow the economy by $1.80 if Bill went to BurgerWorld?

If so, then there is no net difference, is there? The economic growth created by Bill's burger is now created by Ted's burger, but the result is the same; tranferring the dollar didn't create anything. If not, then the process of transferring the dollar somehow makes it worth more. This seems ... magical. Either way, the claim that the transfer results in a multiplier seems ludicrous.

Now, I know what you may be thinking. "Oh, but the point is, if you give a dollar to Ted, both Bill and Ted will buy a burger, instead of just the one burger that Bill buys; this means that two dollars are spent and the economy grows!" (The unstated basis of this argument is that it's OK to sacrifice future growth to obtain current growth.) However, this presumes that Bill doesn't adjust his spending to compensate for the missing dollar. And, that's still only $1.00 at most that would not have been spent otherwise; where's the other 80 cents?

Well, that was an ordeal

This is what happens when you don't log in to BlogSpot for a few years...

Tried to get onto BlogSpot. Oh no, it's been digested by the Googleplex. OK, fine, I don't remember the email address I used to create it in the first place, and forget about remembering the password, but that's what the "Forgot my ..." things are for. It has me give the blog URL, and it tells me that it sent instructions to ... my sbcglobal address. That narrows it down to 4 email accounts.

Start going through accounts. The admin account? Nope, no email there. My professional account? Also nope. I would not have used the iron.chef account (yes, of course I snagged that), so it's gotta be the one I created 8 years ago (and have never touched since) to create my MySpace account. And no, I don't remember that password either. And in the intervening years, they've added security questions and stuff, which I've never given answers to.

Go back to the admin account and see if I can reset passwords on the sub-accounts, and ... there's no link, no button, no nothing to let you do that. ?!?!

Fine, I call a number given on the website and talk to someone whose name sounded like Rain Man. Here's my name, here's my phone number, I'd like to reset a password on a sub-account, they offer to forward me to someone that will do it for a fee, wait, what?

Let's try this "chat with a live person" thing instead. Name, phone, address, etc., and "Timsy" wants the 4-digit security code that was assigned a decade ago. Ummm, I don't remember that. Favorite restaurant? Yeah, I know the answer to that one. Finally, progress; I have a fresh password for the account that may be the right one.

Log in to that email, and the friendly email from Google that gives easy-to-follow instructions to reset that password is not there. Check the iron.chef email and it's not there either. Repeat step 1 to send the email again, and it's still nowhere.

Aha, I bet I set it to forward emails to my work email... and indeed, it's forwarding them to an old old old work address. Set it up with a current address, repeat step 1 again, and ... well, here I am.

Of course, if none of this had happened, if I had just logged in and had access, then this post would have been a lot shorter...

Ding-Dongs

Aren't Ding-Dongs great? You know, those foil-covered chocolate hockey pucks? Especially when they're nice and cold from the fridge; the crispy crackle of the shell and the sofy squishy center separated by the moist chocolate cake. I might be over-romanticizing it, but they are good.

Let's say that we have a benevolent but naïve king who decides that Ding-Dongs, at $2.19 or so a dozen, are too expensive and that everyone should have access to reasonably priced Ding-Dongs. So, he decrees that his government shall promote a "public option" to supplement the private Ding-Dong industry, claiming that this would create competition and keep the private companies "honest".

For a while, the people are happy because the public Ding-Dongs are almost as good as the regular ones but are much cheaper. You couldn't go very far before seeing someone enjoying the benefits of government Ding-Dongs.

Actually, there are some people who are not happy. The private company that makes Ding-Dongs finds it increasingly harder to compete with the public Ding-Dongs. As a result, the private company has to cut costs by laying off employees and reducing product quality, which drives more people to buy the public alternative, until the private company is forced out of business.

Why does this happen? Because the government doesn't have to worry about turning a profit. (In fact, when there's a net loss, the king justs redistributes some funds from the general coffers.) And all the while, the government is taxing the private Ding-Dong company and using the money to fund the public Ding-Dong company.

In the end, there was only the government Ding-Dongs and no competition to keep the government honest.

The moral of the story: Say 'no' to government Ding-Dongs.

Socialized Chicken

First of all, if you've been following this blog (and if you're the one, thank you), you've noticed that there's been a four-month hiatus, that I seem to have taken a sabbatical. (In other words, I haven't gotten around to writing anything.)

In my defense, I'd like to say that (a) I've been busy; and (b) yes, I have been thinking of stuff, but it's been predominately political in nature, and as I've alluded to before, I don't want this to be dominated by that. Good thing too, for if I had been writing all the things that I've been pondering, then someone might get the idea that I'm one of those right-wing domestic threats, and I don't need that.

Today, however, I participated in something that I found particularly blog-worthy, so let this be a grand re-opening.

Perhaps you've heard of Kentucky Fried Chicken's new grilled chicken offering, and furthermore maybe you've heard of the Oprah Winfrey Grilled Chicken Meal Giveaway. If you're otherwise too wrapped up in burgers to notice this phenomenon, here's the deal: for a limited time, you can go to KFC's "unthink" page and print a coupon for a free grilled chicken meal. (And I really mean for a limited time; by the time you read this, it'll probably be over. And again, if you're the one who reads this, thank you.) The coupon says that you don't get a choice of pieces, but they're not really going to give you a wing and a neck, are they?

An aside: I'm sure they would want us to interpret "unthinkfc" as "un-think fried chicken", but "un-thin KFC" seems to be oddly appropriate as well.

Today, I go to KFC to try it out, and the first thing I notice is the mass of other people doing the same. The parking lot is filled to capacity, and the drive-thru line is backing up onto the street. Yeah, this'll be fun.

Once inside, I jostle my way through the waiting throng (why can't they just sit down and wait?) and place my order. It's 11:54. I go sit down with my soda and my order number, 3364. I listen for whatever the current order number being filled is, and it's 3330-something.

At this point I'm thinking, they're giving away free food, what did you expect? But I'm OK with the situation: I've got time; I've got a positive attitude; I've got a limitless supply of diet Dr. Pepper. It'll be fine.

There is apparently only one "grill" producing chicken and three registers accepting coupons (two at the counter, one in the drive-thru), and supply is not keeping up with demand. There are bursts of order numbers being called out, punctuated with silence until the next batch is ready. One suspects that the drive-thru customers are getting priority, because if you're actually in the restaurant, you're more committed to the enterprise than someone that is already poised to drive elsewhere.

Or so you'd think. As time rolls on, I see people that have been waiting patiently (or maybe not-so-patiently) leave before their number is called. After all, it's getting closer to one o'clock. (I considered walking next-door to McDonalds and bringing lunch back to KFC to eat while I waited for lunch.) Ironically, not only are there a bunch of people without chicken, there is a growing amount of chicken without people to give it to.

I'm considering the possibility that for every person that is now drawn to KFC for the new grilled chicken, there may be a person that is so repulsed by the experience that they won't be back anytime soon.

And the throng of people by the counter waiting for their order to be called? Still there, and getting bigger. I imagine it was like playing the lottery and waiting for that last number to be called.

At 1:04, my number is finally called. (That's right, seventy minutes and four soda refills later.) I hollered BINGO and got some laughs, and maybe helped diffuse a riot; that's just the kind of civil servant I am. While I'm waiting with my ticket in hand, I catch that the guy behind the counter is offering to give people the normal chicken instead of the grilled chicken, which defeats the whole point of the promotion.

So if you're wondering about "Socialized Chicken", here's the point. I saw this as a parallel to the way that socialized medicine seems to play out: free medical care, reduced choices, high demand, low supply, long waits, giving up to get it elsewhere, substitution of services.

I have no ending here, except to say that I think I'll have pizza tomorrow.

Heroes wanted

A couple of weeks ago I saw a news story about a guy who dresses up in a makeshift superhero costume and does good deeds under the pseudonym Razorhawk. Goofy? Yes, but my kind of goofy.

It turns out that he and his superhero buddies (Geist, Shadowflare, and others) go out in broad daylight in these costumes in order to be seen doing work for Toys For Tots and the like. Sounds weird, but he has a point about the visibility of it all: If you see a bizarrely-dressed guy delivering toys to an orphanage or volunteering at a homeless shelter, that image is going to be stuck in your head much more firmly than if it were a normally-dressed guy. (Or gal; I'm in favor or superheroines too.) There's a World Superhero Registry where these self-styled heroes make themselves known and organize into local guilds, too.

So I'm thinking, I can do this, but what would my superhero persona be? It would have to reflect some facet of my true persona...

Slide Rule Avenger!
Skillet Man!
The Math Master!
Captain Chopstick!
Super Hippie!

And then I thought, you know, I kind of do that now. I occasionally do some in-person stuff for Hot Dogs & Hope, a feed-the-homeless ministry I'm close to, but mostly I work with the teens in church, and when I do any of this, I am almost always clad in my signature sandals and tie-dye. I recently worked with the teens at Mission Arlington, and an uncle says he saw me (in full hippie mode) on the news; I'm willing to bet that someone thought "hey, look at him" and that was that.

I believe that for Razorhawk and his ilk it's not about narcissism, but about being an example; it's not being Superman, but being a super man.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Captain Chopstick is being summoned, and he's taking the Wasabi Warrior with him.

Python Trek!

I'm a fan of both Star Trek and Monty Python, so I have to share this.

Thank you sir, may I have another?

I just read a news story about an Arkansas woman who gave birth to her 18th child. TLC airs a program about this family called "17 Kids and Counting", which they'll now have to rename.

Apparently, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar really like the letter J (I bet it's Jim Bob's idea), because all their children's names begin with it:

• Jordyn-Grace
  
• Jennifer
  
• Johannah
  
• Jackson
  
• Justin
  
• James
  
• Jason
  
• Jedidiah
  
• Jeremiah
  
• Joy-Anna
  
• Josiah
  
• Joseph
  
• Jinger
  
• Jessa
  
• Jill
  
• John-David
  
• Jana
  
• Joshua
  

I wonder if there's an endorsement deal with Jack Daniels (or another aptly-named sponsor) in the works. It would be ironic if it were Jack Daniels, because the oldest child, Joshua, is 20 and therefore may not yet be of drinking age!